Friends aren’t always kind

Loosing my best friend isn’t what hurt. What hurt was the spiteful words that left her lips as I was sat next to her, to watch her question my sexuality as if I was on trial. Did you want to hang me? You told me that your words weren’t aimed at me, who were they aimed at? The memories are fading for the better and I won’t cry or loose sleep over this, you aren’t worth my sorrow. You tightened the ropes on my hands just a little too tightly, you tried to tame me, shame me but look who came out stronger. Goodbye.


My Top Ten Movie Classics

So I consider myself a fan of classics, the older the film the more it appeals to me and if it is in black and white then I already love it. I have been watching a lot of films recently especially older films from any era. If the director is Alfred Hitchcock then I will watch it no questions asked as he is easily my most favourite director alongside John Huges. So I decided to do a top ten of my favourite films and I’m going to draw a line once I hit the eighties mark. So here they are:

10. ‘Rebel Without A Cause’. I only recently watched this one due to my sudden interest in James Dean. I did like the film but I didn’t love it, the acting was cliché as I expected and James Dean was a good actor but I was discussing it with a friend and we found it a tad bit far fetched, a little bit too unbelievable which did ruin it slightly but I would definitely recommend it just to see James Dean’s acting and I guess if you like far fetched films then watch it! However for the times the film is incredibly good.

9. ‘Laura’. Once again I only recently watched this one as a friend recommended it. I did like this one due to it always keeping you on your feet, plus it was a noir and the whole premise was good. I liked the plot twist in which I won’t spoil as I didn’t see it coming myself and the person who does kill the poor girl was also the unlikely suspect which I liked. The acting was also good and I love how dramatic everything becomes, back in the forties they definitely amplify every feeling.

8. ‘North By Northwest’. My first and by no means last Alfred Hitchcock film. I liked the plot to this film a lot, I found it quite gripping. It’s been awhile since I have seen this one but I do remember liking it a lot. I also find it quite comical especially the auction scene when he begins to act nuts. It definitely is a much watch and I am going to have to rewatch it. The scene in which he is chased by the crop duster plane is quite iconic as well.

7. ‘The Birds’. The film sounds ridiculous but I consider it a must see as I did really enjoy this film, it’s crazy but it worked and even though the killers in this film are birds it is kind of menacing I must admit. I also was told by my mum that Alfred began hitting on Tippi Hedren but she declined and instead of using mechanical birds he did replace them with real birds, causing her a lot of harm.

6. ‘Some Like It Hot’. Anyone who knows this film will instantly think, Marilyn Monroe. This is the first film I have seen with her in it and I loved it! It was really comical and just light hearted, a nice change from my usual films. It feels like an older version of White Chicks and it is in black and white. I didn’t know what I was expecting from Marilyn’s acting but I was surprised, she is quite good although my mum wouldn’t agree.

5. ‘Dial M For Murder’. I find this film incredibly clever, it is down to the fine details that makes it very intelligent. I find a certain part in which Tony and Swann are talking and he drops this letter, Tony never touches it but gets Swann to pick it up in which in a later scene he can blackmail Swann and I just found it quite smart. The whole film has an intelligent dynamic which just continues to incriminate Tony, you’ll understand once you watch it! I recommend watching this one on Halloween.

4. ‘Strangers On A Train’. There is a pattern in which this list consists of a lot of Alfred Hitchcock’s films. I am also a huge fan of this film and its dynamic. Like most of Hitchcock’s film death is a running theme but Bruno’s character is quite disturbing to say the least, he gives the film an eerie feel. Also some of the music choice in the film adds to the creepy feel of the film. This is one of my favourites due to a lot of factors. It is also a must see!

3. ‘Psycho’ and ‘Halloween’. Firstly ‘Psycho’. This iconic thriller is known for its recognisable shower scene and unnerving Norman Bates. I loved this film a lot, once again a black and white film but it is done so well! Norman at first seems so normal and caring but then a switch is flipped and then he is completely psychotic. The scene at the end in which he is shown as his true self is definitely spine-chilling and I also recommend to watch this one at Halloween. Now for ‘Halloween’. A personal favourite of my mums. Like how I also paired a mother with her daughter? This film is definitely one of the best slasher’s of all time, Michael Myers and his creepy mask and the chilling music to go with his antics adds to the suspense of the film. The best film to watch on Halloween which I did last year! It’s a must watch for any horror fanatic.

2. ‘Les Yeux Sans Visage (Eyes Without a Face)’. One of my all time favourites! It’s French and in black and white what else could you want? This film considering the time in which it is made is very advanced, it has the perfect blend of drama and suspense. Her face due to a disfigurement is always being experimented on, to give her the beauty she once possessed. I can’t remember how I stumbled upon this film but it was worth the watch. I would consider it to be one of my favourite films of all time.

1. ‘Rear Window’. The first Alfred Hitchcock film I had seen and my favourite. I don’t quite know what I love about this film. It has two of my favourite actors (Grace Kelly and James Stewart) in it and also the who done it plot is quite fun to follow. How James’ character is confined to a wheelchair and he enlists the help of Grace and Thelma to help him catch his odd neighbour as he believes he has killed his wife. I also like the aspect of James’ character looking in on people’s lives as well, it felt quite realistic in that you could catch a killer if you have nothing else to do. If I ever break my leg I know what I will be doing whilst I wait for it to heal.

So that was my top ten (really top eleven) favourite classics which consisted of mainly Alfred’s films. Watch all of them! Even If you have seen them before.

Leah on the off beat book review

So I physically feel compelled to do a book review on my most favourite book of all time!!! Just decided this right now. My heart definitely holds a special place for Becky Albertalli, she has given me characters like Simon, Leah, Abby and so many more and I couldn’t be anymore thankful. I purchased this book awhile back and until today I’ve been reading it bit by bit, however a miracle happened! My WiFi completely messed up and hasn’t turned on in hours so I picked up my book and began reading and reading till here I am, book closed, tears still in my eyes and a happy heart.

Now for the review: The basic plot centres around Leah’s life, her struggles with coming out, keeping her crush under wraps and her annoying yet lovable Prince Harry potential step dad. Leah’s life is now under the microscope and we learn more about her awkward character. I must admit I may like this sequel more than the first, more because this book represented bi girls (yes I’m gay but I sorta got representation and I can relate more) which just made it more enjoyable, I love Simon and I understood what he was going through but I couldn’t connect properly.

Like I said Leah is completely under the microscope and we get to understand her in a more personal way, she is super awkward and imperfect which makes her more lovable. She has her moments in which she completely blurts out the complete wrong things but she has a golden heart. She feels relatable to me because she isn’t perfect, she has her struggles and just like every teen I know tries to hide them. Oh god and I completely get the whole crush situation, Abby Suso, her crush is just so perfect that she feels that she will never end up with her and I felt that. Leah can be impulsive and courageous at times, she definitely faces up to her fears on multiple occasions. She is cool and quite old school which I love, she is confusing as hell though! Her outbursts can really ruin moments but it adds to the effect of making her feel like a real character that you can relate too. One part I’m not a lover of is Leah’s attack on Abby, the football scene in which Abby says she’s “Lowkey Bi” and it rattles Leah’s cage, she wants Abby to be certain as she cant have her heart-broken, however Leah never apologies to Abby and Leah doesn’t get that not everyone is in a place of understanding and Abby is still developing. Leah doesn’t mean it with bad intentions but if an apology was made it would show questioning kids that you don’t have to have everything figured out. So that is my only criticism.

Simon and Bram just get cuter in this book I swear, the focus is no longer on them two but boy do we get some cute chapters!!! The Promposal is one of my personal favourites, Simon really should’ve been less predictable on his name and his I guess erotica/fan fiction (I’m not explaining read the book!). They are just the perfect couple and I love them so much.

There a multiple chapters I love but three in particular. The first is chapter twenty and at this part of the book Leah and Abby’s road trip is coming to an end, Abby is drunk after coming back from a small party, both girls were there. It’s a big moment for both girls as they are truly honest with each other and I mean it’s not the first time we second guess Abby’s sexuality but it is the first time we have some confirmation that she isn’t straight. It feels like a raw moment where both girls are vulnerable and then there’s their first kiss! This moment is like the straw that broke the camels back. When you reach the end the final two chapters are sweet and endearing. Abby is upset and full of emotions but not because of Nick but due to our protagonist, Leah. This chapter is tough to swallow at first, everything is just falling apart and then suddenly Leah does what she never does and she just takes a chance. I must admit I cried throughout this whole chapter as you want them to work, spoiler they do! They kiss and everything is just okay for a bit. The last chapter shows how their relationship is still flourishing and is like a nod to Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda which I loved. They do work and it gives you a warm feeling.

This book tackles more than sexuality which I love, there is a racist comment made which is immediately reprimanded by Leah herself. I think it is important to have more to a story than just a certain subject, it combines more than a crush and a few complicatios which could hidner their relationship which makes it so much harder to put down. It also builds the foundations on Leah and Abby’s relationship. It has another not hidden but not blatantly obvious theme, self-love! Leah loves her body and at points she does feel self-conscious as sometimes the world shows her reasons why she shouldn’t, that is a problem that most girls are taught to hate their bodies if they aren’t a specific shape or size. We need to break that concept and just the simple fact Leah can embrace her and not feel pressured to be what society deems as attractive is amazing, love your body.

I just want to say a quick thank you to Becky Albertalli, you have given me characters that are relatable and flawed and I feel truly represented which feels good. Thank you for giving us Simon Spier’s story and now Leah Burke’s, I truly appreciate your writing more than you will ever now as this is the first time I have ever understood and connected with a character. Thank you for giving us a happy ending and a perfect couple, it gives me hope that I will to find my very own Abby Suso! Thank you so much.

Get this book if you loved the first one or if you are just in need of a cute story, be prepared for heartbreak and tough moments as this book is full of them. Overall this book is fantastic, it tackles so much more than just the black and white subjects of life. Quick side note, are we gonna get a film or what?! Need to prepare myself as I will cry!



I can definitely say that June the 28th was the best day ever! I had my leavers day and then I also had Prom in the evening and to finish it all off an afterprom party at mine. The day started with an assembly in which we received certificates and then our tutors did a little speech, video or like our tutor did sing for us. My tutor Miss Thompson sang Castle on the hill by Ed Sheeran and I definitely got choked up as I reminisced in my time at Maltings. Another tutor got quite upset whilst doing her speech and I must admit as much as I didn’t gel with my year I will miss everyone. After the assembly we made our way outside to were we had some rides, food, music, bouncy castles, obstacle courses and shirt signings.

I began to sign people’s shirts and others signed mine and it was just a happy atmosphere and I couldn’t stop smiling at everyone. Me and my friends went on the bumper cars and we had such a great time just messing around, with music blaring in the back I didn’t want the whole day to end. At some point we decided to sit down and just eat and that’s when it really hit me that this would be the last time I would see everyone in these circumstances but I kept happy as crying would only ruin it all for me. Me and my friend Abbie went on this bouncy castle where you have to get this patch with velcro on the bottom the furthest, it was so funny and she did end up winning although I should have! I took a few pictures and got some teachers to sign my shirt. When people began to leave I realised I had to as well. All my friends got up and we all left together like old times and I just smiled as we dispersed.

I got back and had to shower as the sharpie had gone through to my skin and I was so hot and sweaty from messing around. I sat in my garden with my mum and cousin and we were all talking about my dress and then we began to talk about when I was little. We got the garden ready for later and then I had to get my hair done.

I got my hair done at Yaxley’s in my town and I had a bouncy blow dry which I loved, however I hate having to get my hair washed as I always sit really uncomfortably and then it hurts my neck but I was just too excited to even care. My friend got her hair done there as well which was funny seeing her in there. I love watching my hair being curled with straighteners as I am so not girly so I didn’t know you could, I was genuinely watching in awe. My hair had to be all pinned up and I looked like a woman from the Victorian era but once it was all taken out it made up for it. My cousin tried to make me go Boots with my hair like that! How evil! I would’ve cried and people even saw me coming out which was embarrassing enough. I got back to have my make-up done.

My make-up was done by my cousins friend Jade who is extremely talented at it! I wanted a more of a natural approach to my whole look and she definitely did that. I was nervous about my make-up as I rarely wear it. I also ended up wearing fake eye lashes which were surprisingly okay and I quite liked them. There was so much make-up and I must admit it was scary as I’m just not used to it all. I did really enjoy it all though as it was fun to really go all out and feel pretty. I must admit it did push me to maybe try to do more make-up in the future and just teach myself the basics here and there so if I ever want to do something I can. I did find it all fascinating as it did seem quite technical and I have a lot of respect for make-up artists now as it just seems so hard and complicated. I loved my natural look that went entirely with my dress.

Once my make-up was done I had one last thing to do. My dress. I grabbed my champagne as I did start to stress myself out a bit, I needed everything and to get there on time but then I had to take photos and then I had to make sure I could walk in my heels. I started to breathe and then it was time to go. On the way there Little Mix’s ‘Wings’ was being played. When we all got there we had photos taken and then we were on our way to Prom!

Walking in with everyone was exciting and I got a few compliments from a few girls I hadn’t really spoken to much and I was giving loads out to everyone I could. The night began slowly and once the awards were handed out Prom really started and music began to play and all my group ran to the dance floor to dance, my moves once again came in handy (I’m joking as I can’t dance, I have no rhythm). The night was full of pictures and there was this really cool free photo booth that we could have our pictures taken in and I utilised that a lot. We also got ours professionally done which was fun and we all looked stunning. I spent a bit of time outside but would always be running in as I heard TLC, Beyoncé, Camila, Nicki and so many more! People must have thought I was crazy especially as I was running about in heels. I spoke with quite a few different people and I must admit I got quite a few people in my year wrong, I judged a lot of people and kept quiet which in hindsight is the only thing I’d change about secondary.

I did end up taking my heels off for about twenty minutes, I didn’t last long as I missed the height I had. I ended up dancing in heels to the Macarena and the Cha Cha Slide which was one of my proudest moments as I didn’t fall once. Heels kind of made me feel really high and mighty, I was literally strutting about in my heels and really feeling myself which was new. I definitely gave off a confident vibe because I felt that way. The evening finished with Oasis’s ‘Wonderwall’ which is one of my all time favourite songs! Everyone who was there was on the dance floor singing along and dancing together, it felt like for the first time ever we all gelled as a year group and just got on for like three minutes which was nice. Then it was time to go. There was tears and goodbyes but also the slight excitement of the evening still not being over, we said goodbye to our head of year who told us “Be powerful strong women” and we all agreed to do that.

Then it was back to mine for the after party! I had tons of food, music, fairy lights and alcohol. Once everyone was there we began to eat and drink and play some games. By the end of the evening me, my friend Abbie and Ellie were drunk but no to the point were we didn’t have a clue what was going on. We were singing to Beyoncé and dancing like nutcase’s all over the place. We were all enjoying ourselves and laughing because we all knew this would be our last night together. We called it a night at like four.

I just want to thank everyone who has made my time at Maltings the best! I wish you all good luck for the future and I hope we all succeed. Goodbye class of 2013-2018.


the people who I took shelter in where the people I should have been hiding from.

I let them mould me, shape me and destroy Me.

I held on as I was too scared to wander alone,

I wasn’t strong enough to follow my own path.

slowly, I am seeing the end of the tunnel.

I will run, sprint till I get there,

I will get there.


I have writers block! So here’s a poem I wrote ages ago.

Alessia Cara

I am free from the evil clutches of high school! I’m writing this knowing secondary school is behind me and College is the next step. Anyways not the topic of this post. Alessia Cara dare I say it one of the best song writers of my lifetime.

Back in 2015 she released her first album Know-It-All and prior to that she had a hit with ‘Here’ my anthem. This post is not on all she has achieved because although I use it as ammo to fight battles on who is better, awards don’t always go to the right person. I discovered her way back in 2015 when I heard ‘Here’ on a music channel and I was hooked, her lyrics meant something and her voice wasn’t what I would call generic it was definitely a different sound. I then kept a tab on her making sure I was aware of any new music and then we got blessed with an album. Her music is the kind of music I listen to at two in the morning in the dark (I sound like a serial killer but I’m not).

I guess what attracted me to her music was the fact she wrote about being different and feeling like an outsider and that’s how I felt. She was never someone I spoke about as I liked to keep her music to myself, it meant something to me and I didn’t want people listening, I do that with certain artists as I don’t take criticism well. ‘Wild things’ music video was also released in 2016, a song about being different and embracing it. It quickly became my go to song to play on repeat. I find her music very raw and she never lies and I think that’s why I like her so much because she feels real and not superficial.

‘Scars to your beautiful’. A song that deserved more, that song should have gone viral and been a number one everywhere. It empowered me as a woman who does struggle with how she looks. A song like this doesn’t come around often and we should embrace it. She wants everyone to feel beautiful and to recognise our beauty, that we don’t need to change our idea of beauty but rather the world does as everyone is beautiful.

I’d play her album on repeat and I’m still annoyed at myself for not going to see her live. Then she disappeared for a whole three years, she would feature on a song here and there but it wasn’t her music. I felt as though I did disconnect from her music and then recently she sprung a new song on us and had us guessing the lyrics. Then song was released on Friday (also the day I saw Beyoncé and Jay-Z but that story is for another day) and I feel in love with her music all over again.

‘Growing Pains’ in which she recognises she is growing up and the thought of becoming an adult is daunting but it has to happen, she wants to go back to the days where life was just easier and more fun. I couldn’t agree more as although I was in a rush to grow up, now I wish I could grow down, I wish I could go back to year four when my biggest worry was who I was going to play with and what I would eat for lunch. Growing up is scary and you can’t hide or cower you can only go at life head first and just hope you make it and come out of it okay. So to conclude this random, not planned post I’d like to say thank you to Alessia Cara for being you and reflecting yourself in your music. Also listen to ‘Growing Pains’ right now as it is the best song of 2018 so far!!

Goodbye Maltings

Okay so this is gonna be a soppy post so I just want to apologise. I officially leave school next Friday. It is sad to close a huge chapter of my life and I don’t want to get all sad on everyone but I really don’t want to leave. I used to want to back in year eight when I hated school so much, now I have friends I love to bits, teachers that have seen me grow and memories that will last a lifetime and I’m not sure if I can let go. So this is my good-bye post to my school.

Year seven sucked, it was such a hard transition as I had been in such a small school and my year consisted of 30 kids and we were all so close. Then I got thrown into a year of 180 teens and god was it hard for me. I’m quiet so to go from 30 to 180 scared me. You don’t know if you’ll fit in, how you’ll find the work and if you will find new friends. You do but you have to go through many friends to find your true ones. Although I discovered many sports like Rounders, Basketball and much more. I became part of so many teams and I definitely loved that aspect. All the competitions I attended was insane and I was always doing some sport after school, I became close with so many of the P.E. teachers especially one who shares my second name, I will really miss him. I also remember a school trip to the Zoo, that was a day I won’t forget as it was so sunny and we was all lugging bags and caring our blazers in our hands whilst trying to stay enthusiastic.

Year eight was a little easier but I still had my ups and downs. We started the year with a school trip to Mersea and although I moan about that trip to this day it was memorable. Waking up in the morning to find our bags swimming in water as someone didn’t shut the tent door. Falling over at three in the morning just because I needed to wee and when me and my friends tried to perform a magic trick whilst carrying one of my other friends in a bag, I’d never laughed so hard in all my life as a girl randomly ran up to us pulling the bag open and having a go at one of my friends, I’m smiling right now thinking about that. However that year I had the biggest fight with my best friend and we didn’t talk for a whole month, that was one of the hardest moments of my life so far. We got over it and we’ve been closer ever since.

Year nine! The year of the famous Ski trip, what a trip! I won’t go into full detail but it has to be one of the best experiences ever, it was just so incredibly fun and the views were just so beautiful. My favourite memory doesn’t actually involve skiing. At one o’clock in the morning stopping off in Germany and sitting in the petrol station, so tired but with my friends wrapped in my blanket, smiling because I really had just been skiing in Austria!! However playing head bands with post-it-notes was also a highlight. Not much happened in year nine, more athletic competitions, basketball games and still the rounders tournaments that are legendary, we were never great but we all had so much fun. I remember our head of year was also I guess our coach, she was a legend and once me, another girl and one of my friends jumped on the mini bus and our teacher left the door open and we started driving leaving the others behind. Year nine was a good year.

Year ten. My last full year. Full of mocks and stress of the up coming exams, watching the year elevens struggle was terrifying as I knew I would be in that position. It was full of me panicking and putting so much into that year. Also I believe that in year ten I got to go to France and Belgium for the Battles field trip, not the best as I was sick for most of it, like really sick which sucked but I still had fun. A few parties here and there and some prom shopping. I got a little tipsy at a party, played manhunt and had a few arguments. Year ten was good because you do have that slight worry of exams but you aren’t quite there yet. My last ever sports day which was hard, weirdly hard as you know that this specific moment won’t happen again, I won’t get to win medals and feel kind of cool for like a day.

Year eleven! Still not over but I have had a good last year! I found my group and although it took me four years it was worth the wait. This year has been full of revision, hard work, tears, break downs, so many English Lit responses, college interviews and new beginnings! I got my Prom dress the other day and my prom is in 19 days, I am so excited. Danbury was eventful (another school trip) and full of singing Beyoncé at eleven o’clock, not that I’m complaining. Revision sessions full of crisps, chocolate and sweets. Exams! So may exams!! But most importantly my last ever tutor, last ever assembly, last picture day! Last P.E. lesson (yes I’m one of those annoying people who love P.E.).

So goodbye class of 2013! I’m gonna miss you all.

-My Tutor-

Everything Sucks! Review

So this show is a masterpiece and I can’t describe it as anything less, however I think this show was Marmite for people. I watched the trailer on Thursday night, as I was scrolling through my Netflix aimlessly and I clicked the notification box and I decided that I would watch the trailer. I was hooked and maybe it had something to do with how diverse the characters were, especially Kate. Anyways a run down on the show, it is a coming-of-age story about two clubs (A/V club and the drama club) who join forces in order to shoot a film, there are many characters and I love every single one. My opinion may be more of an appraisal so just be warned.

This show does seem to centre its self round Luke but then we get to see a lot of Kate (Luke’s girlfriend well it is complicated) Tyler (Luke’s close friend and one of my personal favourites along with Kate) McQuaid (a nerd who was quite endearing) Emaline (a great actor, who I found was full of layers and Kate was definitely the one to peel them back) and finally Oliver (a Bender throwback).

Anyways what I loved about the show was how Kate wasn’t in the background and her coming out process was never a backdrop for other things, her story was an important well portrayed part. I felt every emotion she felt so you know she did a good job! A great coming out story I must admit and she should be truly proud of her self. She was such a lovable character as her face is just so kind and you want to protect her. I love how she is a wallflower and you go on her journey with her as she finally accepts herself. At first I hated Emaline but I quickly figured her out, she liked Kate from day one and she just found it hard to grasp that. I ship them two! They are just so cute together I just hope they stay together in the next season.

Luke angered me at points but he was doing what every boy would’ve done when you fall for a gay girl, it’s never easy knowing you like someone you can’t have but I think he thought he could almost change her, which is just not the case, he does come to learn and accept that but it is important for boys to know they can’t change people. I do love his character as he seems almost so naive, he has this cute part to his character and he is quite protective over his mum especially after his father got up and left. At points my heart really ached for him, when he goes to Blockbuster’s (OMG! I miss that place so much!) and see’s his father and he just gets disappointed, that part broke my heart a little as I wanted him to see his father and everything just gets sorted out. Wishful thinking I know.

Emaline. I love her’s and Kate’s relationship as it was just so cute and innocent and it was entirely stripped back, there was nothing heavy about the relationship it was just slow and heartwarming to watch. Emaline is a paradox but I think she created almost an ice queen persona to keep herself safe, Kate definitely broke that and Emaline needed that. I love how full on she is portrayed at parts but then her facade that she has created is taken away and we see the sweet, kind Emaline who would never hurt a soul. She has a very cool vibe and I’d love to be friends with her it seems like she is pretty cool (an outdated term I know but I’m British! My excuse for everything).

Tyler is a cutie and all over the place. He makes me die, his character is just so hilarious and I love how he’s almost quite naive to everything. I would like to see more of his character though, however I do think what we do see is amazing. He is the goofy friend of the group that always lifts the mood with his silly commentary. But am I the only one who wants Tyler and Leslie together?! They would be such a cute couple, plus Leslie obviously likes him so I’m hoping they become a thing in season 2. I loved him in the film and he can’t read but that makes his character even more lovable.

McQuaid, another character I had ups and downs with. At parts I liked his character and then at other parts I disliked his character. I felt bad when he started to catch feelings for Emaline especially as at that point it was clear Emaline liked Kate, yet you couldn’t stop him and he had to get hurt but that will be an important development for his character, sometimes you have to get hurt as he never really put himself out there. I also hope in season two he doesn’t do something stupid to get back at Emaline and Kate but I have this gut feeling he will, he is hurt so we do stupid things, I’m just praying. However I do really like how he gets more confident throughout the series, he starts off timid and closed off but then he does blossom.

Oliver. A main character as such. I am not a fan of his character as I find him quite egotistical and up himself, he of reminds me of the kind of guy who uses a girl to get where he needs to be and then drops her without thinking about it. He has his ambitions but will hurt everyone to get there, he needs to experience heartbreak I think. He might return in season 2 I’m just scared how everything will pan out with Emaline and Kate, as if he finds out there’s no doubt in my mind he will out them or do something along the lines of that, or maybe I am not giving Oliver enough credit. He reminds me of Bender from The Breakfast Club, he has the same trench coat well on the lines of and the way he plays with his hair and smokes gave me major Bender vibes. I feel horrible as it just sounds like I dragged his character, he does have some good aspects and some people are even comparing him to Joe Keery, I can sorta see that.

So a rundown on what I think of the other characters, I do want to mention Leslie, I like her character and like I said she’s perfect for Tyler! Scott is another character I find hilarious, also his cameo in the film was the best it was kinda creepy (just me? Probably). Cedric was just cool like what else can I say, he was just bad arse. Jessica was a great female president! I’ll be voting! Mr. Stargrove just reminded me of a teacher at my school which was the best, he is a funny character. Also I can’t do a post and not mention Ken and Sherry, (I hope I have spelled that right) they are just so cute! I ship them and I hope Luke’s dad doesn’t mess things up but he so will which is annoying, I just hope they can work it out and get married! Omg that would be so cute, I expect an invite!

I really liked this show as it was something different, I did not find the characters generic at all. I really love the whole aesthetic and how all the characters are at reasonable ages as it sucks to see 25 year olds play teens, as they just don’t get it and they always look like flawless models which is hard to relate to when you look like a potato. They dealt with a really good topic and delivered it so well, it was never too much it was just a cute and soft story. All the characters are pretty likeable which is rare. Netflix definitely got it right with this show and I hope to see a season 2! Plus props to them for making a protagonist gay and having the coming out process as a main story and not something to fill the time, it was great representation for the LGBTQ+ community. Also a quick thank you to the produces and everyone who made the show posisble, I sound like I was in the show, but seriosuly you guys created a great story.

100 years of the vote

100 years since us women got granted the right to vote, we have come so far from the Suffragette movement. Before I get into the post I want to honour a heroine, Emily Davison, a woman who risked her own life to get the vote for us women, she did unfortunately die from her heroic act but it did not go unnoticed, without her women would not have got the vote as soon as they did. Also Emmeline Pankhurst, the leader of the movement and a true heroine, without her the movement would never have been put into motion. And this is to every woman who fought in the movement, you gave us the right to be heard, you gave us the right to have a say in how our world is ruled. Thank you.

Why is the vote so important?

The vote is important as it gave us a voice, we could now decide how we wanted our country to be run. It isn’t this upper hand on men that us women strive for, we strive for equality. Before we were not recognised, we were just a wife that cooked, cleaned and cared for our husbands but now we have so much and the vote kicked that all off. It also affects every aspect of our lives so for women to not have a say was dehumanizing, the Suffragette’s recognised this disservice and tackled it head on. The vote empowers me, I am yet to vote as I am 16 but to know I will be able to excites me.

What does feminism mean to you?

A feminist to me see’s everyone as equal, no one is more of a person because they are a man and no one is less of a person if they are a woman. It is something I wear with pride, I only ever want equality. However feminism has lost its name, there are feminists who demand the world and when they aren’t put on a pedal stall they are confused, when a man does not pay they are disgusted, when a door is held open for them they are offended by the kind gesture. As a feminist I see men affected just as much as women, mental health is something they can’t be honest about as it is not considered as manly, crying is weak and men can’t do ballet because it is seen as “gay”. So feminism is equality, everyone is equal, there are things men can’t do and shouldn’t do and the same with women, I dislike females who believe we are capable of everything a man is because somethings we aren’t destined for, it’s not sexist it is fact.

What’s your opinion on the grid girls?

So my opinion may be unpopular but I think this is one of those cases were people get offended on the girl’s behalf, did anyone ask if the girls felt sexualized? Probably not. See if a girl enjoys doing something, for instance being a grid girl then why should we stop her? The women who are against it are offended on their behalf, if they did not want to take part in that then they would not. A woman is not some set definition, we are all different so you can’t tell a woman what to do because you are offended. It is also the case when girl bands are slut shamed, Little Mix recently got slammed for their outfits once again, the girls are their own people and they can wear whatever the hell they want and to slam them is where feminism is at fault. What happened to empowering women? We can only ever empower certain women nowadays and it is ridiculously. Don’t get offended on others behaves. What is demeaning is seeing other women be disgusted at other women.

Are women equal?

No not yet as there a lot of women in the work place who are not getting paid the same as their male counterpart and this needs to change as it is a discrimination. In some countries women are still seen as house wives and nothing more. Women don’t build each other up as they are too busy tearing each other down. “She was wearing something provocative” is still an excuse rapists use to try to justify their actions, that it is our fault that some men can’t control themselves, no matter what we wear we can be raped. People like Trump can get away with degrading his own daughter and still be elected at president. So no not yet but we are getting there.

A feminist icon you love?

Maya Angelou, a women who has fought her entire life and is a feminist icon. Reading her books are moving, she never had an easy life but yet I find her so gentle. A woman with so much power has created a ripple in time and was someone I aspire to be like, being a feminist to her was a no brainer. A true woman and feminist, she strived to make women equal and she often spoke out never being silenced by the patriarchy, they were definitely threatened by such a powerful woman. Read her books as she such an insightful woman who has so much to say, she recently passed but her voice will continue to inspire.

So that was my post dedicated to the women who fought for us, we will never experience  the pain and ridicule they did because they wanted to change the way women were perceived, but we will continue on honouring them everyday. Here’s to women! We are strong, beautiful, smart, powerful and strong-headed. We can achieve anything we want thanks to the vote. Never stop dreaming and working hard. Always vote as women before us lost their lives so we could. Today my act to honour the women is to be strong, kind, adventurous and maybe do something I usually would not do. I will also be thinking about the Suffragette’s, they made history 100 years ago today, they led a long battle and won. Thank you Suffragette’s.


‘Camila’ review

Her album has dropped! It is here! I love it, its raw, emotional and full of ballads which are my favourite. I don’t know what I was expecting with her album but what was released exceeding everything, all I know is I feel like I know a bit more about her that this album was personal and to think that she shared it with us is an honour. So seriously the review:

First track is Never be the Same. It’s a weird upbeat, sad, emotional song that makes you want to dance but dance in understanding. This song was a single and I must admit I liked it as soon as I heard it, I connected with the lyrics especially “I’m a sucker for the way that you move babe”. I think Camila is wise beyond her years and this song says that, she understands how love is almost a drug and how we become addicted to that person and no matter what we try to do, move on or even ignore them it’s useless because that person has truly changed you. Five stars for me! Definitely one of my favourites on the album.

Second track is After All These Years. I love this song so much! I really related as it was kinda crazy how I felt she described my love life, after all these years I still like you!! Listening to this song brought back a few things, especially this one lyric “You’re still the one I’m after all these years” because it was like omg Camila we are basically the same person. Plus I got over my crush but I didn’t really and when I saw them again everything I liked about them swarmed my brain and I was back to where I started. This song is honest and slow which I love, you can feel Camila’s pain and she’s good at that, you understand what she’s singing, you resonate with what she says. Five billion stars!

Third track is She Loves Control. I feel like this is where Camila takes control of herself, she’s like this is who I am! Take me or leave me I’m not bothered because I am who I am. She’s cried all her tears and now she’s ready to be her. It’s a bold song, I hear it and I want to take control and dance, it has a very latino beat which I love as I feel as that genre is a very movable genre that makes you want to sway your hips to the beat and this song does just that for me. I’d give it four stars.

Fourth is Havana! God I love this song, I hear it and I sing at the top of my lungs and try to dance like Camila (not very well, just ask my mum). This song was definitely a hit for everyone, it has a very sultry tone and it’s a love song to her roots. The trumpets make the song for me, the catchy beat and the lyrics that are so simple yet so good. It’s just a feel good song and once you hear it you won’t be able to stop humming the tune. I have to give this song a Grammy. Seriously though five stars.

Fifth Is Inside Out. I like this song because usually a singer is all about singing about someones looks or body but Camila’s like “I wanna love you from the inside out!” which I love about her, she is all about personality and this song screams that, so it makes it authenticate and real. It has a Caribbean feel to the song, it’s upbeat and another song that you can easily dance to. I have visions of me dancing to it on a beach somewhere like Jamaica. Also when she sings in Spanish it adds like more appeal to the song, I love how she incorporates herself into every song somehow. This song is quite innocent and cute, I really like it and again I feel like I resonate with the song. Five stars

Sixth song is Consequences. It’s sad and I cried. Camila fell for a person and it was great but it had consequences, I feel like she lost herself whilst loving that person and you can tell it was hard for her as this person was her rock, her home but they were destroying her. I think we can all relate, we all loved someone who was only effecting US, but we hold on in the hopes everything will change. This song is extremely vulnerable and raw, she sings about her experiences and opened up to us which is insanely brave as not many artists are honest nowadays. Five beautiful stars.

Seventh is Real Friends. A song that deserves so much recognition, another honest song! Another song many people, including myself, resonate with. This song is just entirely honest, she’s not scared to sing about what goes on in her life. Real Friends hit me like a ton of bricks especially the lyric “Been feeling so alone in every crowded room” which I understand and get as I’ve been there, I have been surrounded with fake friends who mean nothing to me. A lyric that was new to me was “I just wanna talk about nothing with somebody who means something” because I think we all do, we want that connection with somebody and it isn’t forced it just happened and now every conversation matters and means something even if it is a load of nonsense. Five stars!

Eighth song Something’s Gotta Give (My all time favourite). This song is insanely well written and the way Camila sings it fits, the whole song is a masterpiece and I don’t throw that word round often. The fist time I heard this song I knew it would be my favourite. My go to lyric is ‘Your November rain could set the night on fire” as I find it extremely poetic and it gives me this weird warm feeling, I love the talk about fire and night. This song is Camila’s understanding that she loved someone but no longer can as they had their time “but we could only burn so long” she gets that they are over and is slowly coming round to that fact, she knows she’s worth more and something has to change and she knows that they won’t so she has to. A Grammy, a Golden Globe and an Oscar just all of the above.

Ninth is In the Dark (My second favourite). Who are you in the dark? Is Camila’s posing question, when you can be free, honest and yourself who are you? When it’s just you who are you really? Camila’s message to the people is to be who you are when no one’s watching, be who you are not someone you’ve created. The message of this song is important as everyone should be themselves, that we should stop acting and start living. Who are you when it’s 3AM? It’s a good reminder to just be you. It’s a song that I can listen to over and over again. Camila Five stars!

Tenth is Into It. A love struck song, a little bit Taylor Swift themed almost. I like to dance to this song and pretend that I am signing it into my hairbrush. It’s vibrant if a song can be. It’s a good love song and I think finally Camila has found someone who hopefully she pursues! I would give this song four stars as I’m not a huge fan.

This album is my all time favourite! No other album has made me feel so connected and I feel like I understand Camila now. I really belive this album is the album of the century, she is just so her in every song and we waited a year and it was so worth it. I love this album like it is my baby. Camila you did so well! I am so proud of what you have accomplished and I will always love and support you, ‘Camila’ is the perfect album that will always be played in my dads car, my room, on our TV and constantly on repeat in my head. Thank you!